Bramwell's Page
Ian Bramwell, Wednesday, 28 May 2008WELCOME - to Bramwell's Page. Just to try something new, this page will introduce you to bowlers within our area. Also the aim is to have a bit of fun (yes bowls can be fun), latest rumours, some news (when available), a little bit of ad-hoc commentary and the odd joke. My advice to the reader is not to take it all too seriously!!
Introducing - JAY TOOTELL (Toots)
Jay is one of the terrific young bowlers within our area. He is 27 years of age and a member of the Somerville Bowling Club. You will usually find him in their number one side which currently plays in the combined Nepean League. Jay has also taken on committee life and you will usually find him on the Somerville Selection committee. (Flippin explains why he gets all the gun rinks!!!)
Hello Jay.
IB - So when did you start and why? Considering you were so young.
JT - Around 1994. I was actually having a go at pentaque and a bowler (Les Jones who played at Rosebud) reckoned I should be coached to play Lawn Bowls. My Grandfather was Bill Cavanagh who played at Hastings so that is where I received some coaching and got started.
IB - So who was your early coach and mentor?
JT - Peter Rogan (Current Hastings President and Senior Vice President of the PBA) was the coach who got me started. Then Joe Attard became both Coach and Mentor after that.
IB - So what bowls do you currently use?
JT - I use the Henselite EVO size four extra heavy bowl.
IB - What clubs have you played for?
JT - Hastings, Somerville, City of Frankston and Dandenong.
IB - Notable Achievements?
JT - Winning 2 PBA singles titles, Back to back Group 7 Fours Titles especially as it was the same team (Jay, Ashleigh Rowan, Nick Poda and Ian Bramwell) and winning the pennant in the Nepean League's first season. Also it was great to be part of the State under 25 state side plus the State reserves side.
IB - Now for the serious stuff...So how is married life? (Jay & his partner Kirsty were married in November 2007).
JT - Married life is great. Life is all about learning and marriage is part of that
IB - Who wears the pants?
JT - (Laughing) Me.
IB - Yep, all newly wed blokes think they wear the pants but as you said life is about learning and you will learn the truth on that question. So who will win a clubs singles first, you or Kirsty? (I should also point out that Kirsty enjoys a game of bowls).
JT - Given my form and results in the event probably Kirsty.
IB - So speaking of club singles and most bowlers like to have this title on their CV, when are you going to get off your butt and win one?
JT - When old buggars like you stop getting in the way!!
IB - (Short memories these young fella's!! The lad stitched me up in one of the finals of his PBA singles titles. I think we currently sit at one-all) Lucky last question: Are you really as good as what you tell me you are???
JT - (Laughing)
IB - Unfortunately cannot print what was said!! However please trust me when I state the Lad can bowl a bit!!
RUMOUR FILE
Yep, we are in the off season and as usual the rumours are coming thick and fast.
Ashleigh Rowan (Somerville) off to Clayton - After a terrific season Ash has decided to leave Somerville and Nick (Poda) and head to Clayton to mix it with the top guns!!
(Don't worry readers he left Nick in the good hands of his sister Sarah. When someone last mentioned the name Ash, Nick just said "who"). We wish Ash all the best.
Paul Williamson (Melbourne) to Dromana - Just as one yougster leaves the nest another is rumoured to be returning. (How the heck can us old buggars get a group game if these yougsters keep coming back!!!). Paul would certainly add strength to the Dromana outfit. If true, Welcome back Paul.
Bill Johnson (Hastings) to Somerville - What can I say other than, Bill, it would be good to see you back in the Somerville colours!!
Natalie Parkinson (Hastings) to Dromana - Was rumoured to be seen having lunch at the Dromana Hotel with some Dromana people. Wonder if it is a package deal with Natalie's father Duncan also joining the club?
Jarod Bardsley (Somereville) to Dromana - Jarod is another of the up and coming younger brigade. Good luck at Dromana.
Barry Fergusson (Rye) to Rosebud Country Club - Barry being a Group 7 player will be a handy pick up for the newly promoted Rosebud Country Club.
David Harrison (Karingal) back to football?? - Yep word is that David is going to have a few seasons back at football. (Someone tell him they run laps and stuff at training!!). Last time I saw David play bowls he had borrowed Michael Poda's walking stick for balance. Can't wait to see how he is going to kick a football and hold that stick???? Come back soon David the sport would be poorer for your possible loss.
Michael Poda (Long Island) to Somerville - Michael started this rumour with his speech at the Somerville Classic Day. Word is that Somerville will only take him if he can get that stick back off David!!
Neale Fraser (Hastings) to Dromana - Another very handy Hastings bowler rumoured to be joining Dromana
Terry Fraser (Hastings) to Rosebud - If true Terry will add a lot of experience to the Rosebud lineup.
Mike Whitty (Rye) to Dromana - I have been advised Dromana feel they have a chance of securing Mike. He will add depth to what looks like a very strong lineup.
Don Smyth (RSL) to Hastings - Don advised he was looking to join Hastings for this coming season. If so Don's wisdom and knowledge will be of great benefit to the Hastings club who looks close to losing half of their number one side.
Grant Catterick (RSL) to Queensland - It looks possible that Grant has moved to Queensland for work. If true he will be a sad loss as he showed us all he has enormous talent during his short stint in the PBA.
Others names mentioned are: Frank Coghlan and Tony Bradford could be lining up for Rosebud Country Club.
Yep as I stated we are in the off season and rumours abound. If a number prove correct then Dromana look to be building a very impressive list to tackle the dominance of Karingal.
NEWS
Here is a little news for all you smokers. It is now official that smoking is banned on all greens (not just artificial). If caught by the umpire you will get one warning. After that you will be ejected from the game. (No substitute can replace you). It has been left up to clubs to decide where or if smoking can take place in the surrounds. (Maybe Selection Committee's might be issuing nicotine patches in the future!! Going to be a lot of stressed bowlers out there!!).
On Monday June 2nd the Association will have its AGM. There will be a few new faces amongst the executive and committees. I can advise there will be a new secretary announced. For me I have given 3 full terms to the secretary role and have enjoyed the role. I have learnt a lot and hope bowlers appreciate the effort I have given the sport. I also appreciate the kind comments from the many bowlers who are aware that I am stepping down. I wish the new Secretary all the very best.
However I will still provide assistance to those looking for help getting information onto the website.
JOKE
The following reminds me of a number of bowls conversations I have had. (I'm saying one thing and someone else takes it another way!!!)
Making a baby.
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was one on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted
On That note, have a great day, come back soon. If you have an opinion, joke, thought or someone you feel should be interviewed then drop a note. (Email address will be advised soon).
Kind Regards
Ian Bramwell
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